Podcast
Episode 16 – What NOT to do at an…
Another in-between-a-sode while I get the final episodes locked in for 2015.
Do you love being at the airport? Sure, it definitely has its moments and when I first began flying years ago it was certainly exciting. The antcipation of travelling far from home for an adventure. It was always something special and the journey was half of the fun.
Fast forward many years later and while it can still be fun being at the airport (such as the bar), there are plenty of irritating encounters that tend to make the experience just that little bit more painful.
So, here are a few suggestions of what NOT to do at an airport. For further explanations, tune into the podcast.
1. A large suitcase is NOT oversized
Don’t stand in the oversize check-in queue/lane just because you have a big suitcase. Piss off and stand in the normal queue! For us and many others, we’re checking in musical instruments, sporting gear and other large ‘oversized’ items. This also goes for people in groups. Rack off.
2. If you bag has wheels – it’s NOT carry on
Sorry, I’m probably offending some people but if your bag has wheels then it is probably either a) too heavy or b) you’re lazy, but either way it should be checked in. The amount of times I’ve walked onto a plane and discovered that every luggage compartment is completely full with large bags with wheels, is just ridiculous. We know everyone breaks the rules, but come on, if you can’t pick that bag up over your head without struggling, then you shouldn’t be carrying it onto the plane!
3. If in doubt, take it all out/off
… and do it all in advance! Every airport around the world is different, but just take it all out. If you have a computer, fluids, deodorant, or you’re wearing a belt, steel cap boots, jewellery, etc – just remove it instead of holding up the line. Funnily enough, you’ll end up saving yourself time in the long run if you put in that tiny bit more of effort to begin with!
4. Don’t panic
The plane won’t leave without you if you’re there at your gate! Don’t start pushing through to get onto the plane first (unless you have one of those devil bags on wheels and need your precious overhead storage). You have an allocated seat, numbnuts! You can sit at your chair and be the last one to walk on the plane and you’ll still sit in the same seat and depart at the same time. Relax, bro.
5. Don’t shove
Fuuuuu…. Why is there any need to shove past people in the aisle on the plane to either get to your seat or get off the plane when you land? Sure, you might have a connecting flight that you’re running late for, but jumping up as soon as the plane lands to try and find your bags and push down that narrow aisle full of people will do you ZERO favours. If you’re really that concerned about your connecting flight, press the attendant button before the plane descends and inform the cabin crew. They may be able to assist you with either a) getting off the plane quicker b) getting you to your gate quicker or c) informing the connecting flight if the same carrier. Use your head, not your shoulder.
Bonus pro tips:
6. Wait until the seatbelt light goes off! It’s on for a reason, just play by the rules. What’s the point?
7. Delays due to uncontrollable circumstances – don’t be a dick to the ground staff.
8. Just be cool to airport personnel. Ground staff, security, hospitality – Their job sucks, make it easier for them and don’t be a cunt.
9. Don’t stand in the middle of busy walkway/thoroughfares – Be aware of everyone around you and move off to the side.
10. Don’t throw away your boarding pass, especially if they have the baggage tags attached – You will cry if you toss it out and loose your luggage. Play it safe and make life easier for everyone else. Don’t do what I did! (listen to podcast)
What’s in my travel gig/carry on bag?
I’ve had a lot of people quiz me about the tiny rigs that we take on the road, and due to the unique set up (well, I guess it’s still unique as I don’t know anyone who does the same) I thought it would be interesting to list all the items I carry in my backpack when I go on tour. As before, listen to the podcast for explanations.
1. Line 6 Bass Pod XT.
2. Gallien Krueger MB200 Bass Head.
3. Line 6 G30 relay wireless system.
4. Tour itinerary/Hotel Information/Transportation – Now gone digital.
5. Black marker pens.
6. Double A alkaline batteries.
7. Dettoll hand gel.
8. Various pens/biros – good for immigration paperwork at airports/completing various paperwork on the run.
9. Generic LORD/Podcast flyers and business cards.
10. 4 or 5 magazines such as World of Knowledge, National Geographic, Australian Geographic, New Scientist, Time, etc.
11. 1 hard/paperback book.
12. Wet wipes!
13. Cygnett power bank 11000.
14. Anytime fitness pass.
Another pro tip – Don’t take gaff tape on board flights! Listen to find out more.
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